A collection of questions that will liven up conversations with friends. Talk themes to deepen your bond.
Looking for conversation starters that naturally liven up chats with friends? With social media everywhere, there should be plenty of shared topics.
Still, it’s not always easy to think of them, and figuring out how to ask the first question can be tricky.
So this time, we’re introducing a set of classic questions that can help deepen your conversations with friends or even spark them in the first place.
These are all questions that can reveal new sides of the other person, help you share values, and bring you closer.
Give them a try in your next conversation!
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A collection of deep questions to build closer relationships (1–10)
If you could time-slip, when would it be?
Time slips are a classic staple of science fiction that frequently appear in manga and anime, and surely everyone has imagined them at some point.
Let’s build a conversation around where we’d go if time travel were possible.
Some people might choose an era unrelated to themselves—one they simply want to see—while others might pick a time tied to their own past or future.
If we also ask why, we can learn which periods they’re interested in and perhaps even steer the discussion toward past events they wish they could change.
What would you like to say to your past self?
Haven’t you often seen scenes where, when something incredibly exciting happens, people say, “I wish I could tell my past self!”? On the flip side, there are those near-black-history regrets like, “If only I’d done this back then…” How about making that your talk theme: What would you want to say to your past self—whether it’s sharing something that made you happy or warning them, “You really shouldn’t do that”? Some people might sum it up in one line, while others might give their past self detailed advice.
You might even learn things about your friends’ pasts that you never knew!
Is there anything you’re actually not good at?
Even though everyone has things they’re not good at, we don’t usually have chances to talk about them—especially when they’re small.
How about inviting people to share those little everyday weaknesses? You might discover that something you thought was just your own struggle is actually common, which could deepen your bonds.
The smaller the weakness, the harder it is to recall, so it can help to start from others’ examples and let them spark your own memories.
Talking about what you’re not good at might also reveal differences in the cultures you grew up in and make the conversation more lively.
Which country do you want to go to?
Have you ever found yourself daydreaming alone, thinking, “I’d love to travel to that country someday”? How about talking with friends about countries you’ve seen on travel shows or beautiful places you’ve come across on social media—places you’d like to visit if you had the time and money.
If you also mix in stories about different cultures—like, “I saw on TV that in that country, it’s normal to do XX,” which is different from what’s common in Japan—even friends who weren’t interested before might start wanting to go.
Who knows, you might even end up traveling together in the future!
If you could meet just one person, who would you want to meet?
This is a question that asks people to think about whom they would like to meet if they could meet anyone—whether a famous person or someone close to them.
From their choice of person, you might get a glimpse of their roots, such as who influenced them and at what points in their life.
Sometimes admiration is so strong that they actually don’t want to meet the person, so let’s also explore where they draw the line for someone they’d want to meet and how they think about it.
It could also be interesting to consider what they would want to tell that person if they actually met.
What’s your ideal type?
A popular topic that gets friends excited is asking, “What’s your ideal type?” Just by hearing this, you can tell what someone values most, and listening to others’ ideals can often give you ideas for yourself.
If you happen to share the same ideal type, it might even bring you closer than before.
Since it doesn’t pry into someone’s privacy, it’s also an easy topic to discuss.
Give it a try—talk about your ideal type.
What’s your dark past?
How about talking with each other about those embarrassing memories—the cringey “dark history”—you wish you could erase from your life? It’s a topic that comes with embarrassment and a pang in the heart, but if sharing your own dark history livens up the moment, maybe your past self will be redeemed a little.
If someone else has a similar dark history, you might bond over the shared pattern, though it’s tricky because empathy can sometimes amplify the embarrassment.
Still, by candidly opening up about our memories—especially the parts that still sting—it might become a chance to build a closer, more intimate relationship.