[Hilarious] Salaryman Senryu That Make You Laugh Out Loud: A Full Showcase of Self-Deprecating and Funny Verses

My wife’s retirement plan doesn’t include me

As you spend more time together, you come to understand both the good and the not-so-good sides of your partner.

Thinking about life in old age based on how you’ve lived so far, some people might consider separating from their husbands to live more comfortably.

Even among celebrities, the couple Yuya Uchida and Kirin Kiki lived apart for many years.

Kirin Kiki, who called Yuya Uchida “the best husband,” never divorced him, and their marriage lasted throughout their lives.

It seems there are as many forms of marital relationships as there are couples, not only the option of spending old age together.

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“If I win the lottery, I’ll quit” is the catchphrase

Most people who buy lottery tickets think, “If I win, I’ll quit my job,” right? Here’s a senryu that perfectly captures that feeling.

If you win the lottery, you get a large sum of money.

We’ve all daydreamed at least once about life after winning.

Everyone shares the desire to get money the easy way.

But the odds of hitting the jackpot are one in tens of millions… It’s not that easy to win.

Knowing that, we can’t just walk away from our jobs—but we still want to hold on to hope.

In a sense, there may be many people who keep going thanks to this very mantra.

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“Dot-com? Which part gets crowded?” asks the boss.

A hilarious misunderstanding that makes you burst out laughing! What a cute boss.

By “dot com,” they probably mean the “.com” that appears at the end of a website URL or an email address.

But it seems this boss misheard it as “dotto komu” (meaning “crowded all of a sudden”).

Perhaps they belong to a generation that doesn’t use the internet much.

I think it’s best to gently correct them sooner rather than later, but since they’re your superior, pointing it out is tricky… It’s amusing, but it makes for a very vexing senryu.

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Cheap smartphone, and my dad’s allowance

Smartphones have become so ingrained in our daily lives that it’s hard to remember a time without them.

There was a period when many people switched to budget carriers as prices at the major carriers surged.

This senryu humorously compares those budget smartphones to a father’s allowance, treating them the same.

Given that salaries aren’t rising easily these days, it can’t be helped—but many fathers probably find their allowances cut by their wives.

It’s the kind of senryu that makes you nod along and say, “So true.”

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Work tomorrow?! My wife’s voice suddenly sounds lively.

It seems there are wives who treat the hours when their husbands are at work as their own free time.

They probably spend it cleaning, shopping, or having tea with friends.

Some might also feel that it’s a chance to work without worrying about their husbands.

In other words, because they are always supporting their husbands, they value the time when they’re not around.

They might even look pleased when there’s an unexpected day their husband has to go into work.

However, perhaps it would be good to pay a little more attention to things at home?

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Eighty percent full—the remaining twenty percent is ginger and tea.

Hara-hachibu means stopping eating before you’re full—using about 80% fullness as a guide—so you don’t overeat.

Making this a habit is considered good for your health because it helps prevent obesity and improve lifestyle-related diseases.

In this senryu, it seems the person enjoyed sushi up to hara-hachibu and then ate gari (pickled ginger), which serves as a palate cleanser and can help prevent food poisoning.

It’s a verse that shows they’re enjoying sushi while being mindful of their health.

It’s also kind of amusing if you think of the remaining “two-tenths” both as the leftover capacity and as a playful nod to sushi often being served as two pieces (nigiri in pairs).

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The sushi toppings with market price labels that I can’t bring myself to order

One thing you often see at high-end sushi restaurants without conveyor belts is the term “market price.” Since it means the price changes depending on the moment, you can’t help but worry, “Could it be really expensive…?” The author of this senryu probably felt the same way.

The value of wild seafood fluctuates greatly with the catch, making it difficult to display fixed prices; that’s why it’s listed as market price.

You want to enjoy delicious sushi, but that “market price” label stands in your way… It may be a dilemma born from being used to conveyor-belt sushi.

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“Cleaning in progress” Is there despair like this?

You’re desperately looking for a restroom and finally think you’ve found one—only to see a “Cleaning in Progress” sign hanging there… That is an unmistakable moment of despair.

After all, needing to relieve yourself is a physiological reaction; even if you know you shouldn’t, it’s not something you can just stop.

If you’re an adult, you might still have the leeway to look for the next restroom, but if it’s a small child, isn’t that basically game over right then and there? And if you don’t have a change of clothes, the despair is probably doubled…

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Terrible twos negotiation skills skyrocketing

Just as the phrase “the terrible twos” suggests, children go through a ‘no-no’ phase around age two.

They may say “No” to Mom and Dad’s prompts or throw tantrums.

It can be exhausting to deal with this phase.

This senryu captures how, over time, parents get better at responding to their child’s “no-no” and improve their prompts, likening those prompts to negotiation skills in a work setting—a touch of humor.

You can almost picture proposing options to a boss or client: “How about this? What do you think of that?” Like this senryu, it might help to add a bit of laughter to the challenges of parenting.

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