Questions to deepen your bond as a couple! Conversation topics that will get lovers talking
“I want to know my partner better!” Do you ever feel that way? Actually, there are lots of perfect question ideas to help couples deepen their bond.
For example: “What do you want me to call you?” “What’s your ideal date?” “What made you fall for me?” Through casual conversation, you can discover new sides of each other and notice differences in your values.
In this article, we introduce questions you can use during dates or in your LINE chats to bring you closer as a couple.
Time with your partner is sure to become even more fun!
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Questions to Deepen a Couple’s Relationship (11–20)
What gestures do you like in the opposite sex?NEW!
People perceive the gestures of someone they’re interested in differently; it’s a point where differences in taste show.
Let’s turn beloved gestures of the opposite sex into questions and see how well we understand each other’s preferences.
Depending on how one answers, we may glimpse not only the questioner’s tastes but also the respondent’s.
It’s a fun topic not only as a shared conversation starter but also as a chance to discover new ways of thinking.
The more someone recognizes they’re in the minority, the higher the difficulty of the questions becomes.
What makes your heart skip a beat about your partner?
You know the comedian Koji Higashino, right? Well, he divorced and then remarried the same person.
This isn’t especially rare—unique actress Midoriko Kimura and comedian Hossyan are the same case.
When you’ve fallen for someone once, you can’t start hating them so quickly, can you? Have you ever felt your heart skip a beat even after you started dating someone? I’m sure you have, many times.
As your relationship deepens, you notice more of their good qualities.
Keep talking with each other and let yourselves feel even more butterflies!
How often is the ideal contact frequency?
Have you ever watched AbemaTV’s “We’re… Dating!”? It’s an audience-participation show where couples with slightly unusual issues join to seek solutions.
In the episode titled “My boyfriend is way too controlling,” one of the MCs, Kamaitachi’s Hamaie, confessed, “That used to be me, too,” which sparked quite a buzz.
There were even comments that made the audience gasp, like “I want to know my girlfriend’s entire schedule” and “Call me when you get home.” How controlling are you? It’s a topic that could apply to almost any couple, right?
Which do you prefer: staying at home with your partner or going out?
We’d like to think that homebodies get along best with other homebodies and outdoorsy people with other outdoorsy people, but I believe there are plenty of cases where that’s not true.
Even among homebodies, there’s a big difference between those who want a day off doing nothing and those who enjoy staying in with DVDs and cooking.
And among outdoorsy types, people differ in how they plan a camping trip, and some aren’t into visiting shrines and temples, so it’s rare for opinions to line up perfectly.
Talking about these feelings as a couple could make for a really fun time.
Are you an outdoorsy person or a homebody?
What would you like your partner to call you?
How you address each other is an important factor that can greatly influence your relationship.
That’s why asking “How would you like to be called?” can feel a bit embarrassing, but it leads to a conversation that brings you closer.
Whether it’s “I want you to use my first name” or “I want a cute nickname,” the answer reflects the person’s personality and how they express affection.
Even if you’re shy at first, as it gradually becomes natural to call each other that way, the distance between you shrinks considerably.
Talking about it when your relationship has progressed can also create a deeper sense of trust.
This small change of deciding what to call each other can make your relationship feel all the more special.
What do you want most right now?
To make the time you spend together more fulfilling, giving a gift that shows you’re thinking about the other person is an important element, isn’t it? How about asking what they want most as a question that can help you choose such a gift? If you ask what they want and then give it to them, they’re sure to be happy, and there’s less risk of getting it wrong.
If you ask too directly, it can be hard to make it a surprise, so another recommended approach is to subtly find out during conversation and then give the gift—so you can get an even bigger reaction.
What made you happy?
There are people who love surprises, regardless of gender.
If it’s a woman, it might be a surprise lunchbox or homemade sweets; if it’s a man, maybe a surprise drive or a bouquet of flowers, and so on.
All of these make for happy memories, of course, but small, subtle gestures can be just as delightful: a man walking on the outside of the sidewalk, offering the seat of honor to a woman at a restaurant, having the room already cleaned, or ironing a shirt.
Big joys and little joys—let’s take this opportunity to talk about them all!
Which is more important in a partner: looks or personality?
When trying to find a partner, some people prioritize appearance while others focus on personality; it really depends on each person’s way of thinking.
Those who value appearance often pay attention to hairstyle, clothing, and the first impression when they meet.
On the other hand, those who prioritize personality tend to look at values, hobbies, emotional stability, and a sense of fun.
I believe both appearance and inner qualities are important, but we should honor each person’s values and choose a partner we won’t regret by respecting each other.
Do you want to be doted on, or do you want to dote on someone?
Compared to the past, has the distinction between men and women faded in the Reiwa era? I hear that many schools have dropped the rule that ‘girls’ uniforms must be skirts.’ It also feels like the Showa-era pattern of ‘women relying on men and men accepting it’ is no longer taken for granted.
What do you think? Of course, there are plenty of men who want to be the ones to lean on, and women with strong maternal instincts who’d say, ‘I’m totally fine with you leaning on me!’ Topics like these about dependency can really get couples talking, too!
Which do you prefer: to love or to be loved?
KinKi Kids’ smash hit “Rather Than Be Loved, I Want to Love”—I’m sure you all know it—but how much do you relate to its lyrics? There’s even that occasional theory that in pet talk, “dog people want to be loved, cat people want to love,” though personally I think it’s case by case.
Whether you want to be fulfilled or to fulfill someone—taken to the extreme, it even turns into a wild S-or-M kind of topic—but it’s nice to have such lighthearted conversations with your partner.
Of course, while listening to KinKi Kids!