Questions to deepen your bond as a couple! Conversation topics that will get lovers talking
“I want to know my partner better!” Do you ever feel that way? Actually, there are lots of perfect question ideas to help couples deepen their bond.
For example: “What do you want me to call you?” “What’s your ideal date?” “What made you fall for me?” Through casual conversation, you can discover new sides of each other and notice differences in your values.
In this article, we introduce questions you can use during dates or in your LINE chats to bring you closer as a couple.
Time with your partner is sure to become even more fun!
- [Also for punishments] A list of fun, conversation-sparking questions for couples
- [Lovey-Dovey] Couple’s Challenge! Question Game Roundup
- A collection of questions to liven up phone calls with someone you like or are interested in
- A quiz that reveals your partner’s views on love and life. Recommended for couples.
- Fun two-player games recommended that you can play using conversation only
- You might see your true colors—and your partner’s? A psychological test for adult couples
- A psychology test that gets couples excited—find out your romantic tendencies and personality.
- A forfeit/punishment game for couples to get hyped (from girlfriend to boyfriend)
- A collection of hilarious questions that will liven up the conversation and might help you learn more about the other person
- [Ultimate Either-Or] A great conversation starter and a chance to get to know each other!
- How Much Do You Know? A Quiz Collection About Me
- [Talk] Interesting! Hilarious! A Collection of Silly Questions
- [Personality Test] A must-see for couples! Check your compatibility with the one you love
Questions to Deepen a Couple’s Relationship (11–20)
What do you want most right now?
To make the time you spend together more fulfilling, giving a gift that shows you’re thinking about the other person is an important element, isn’t it? How about asking what they want most as a question that can help you choose such a gift? If you ask what they want and then give it to them, they’re sure to be happy, and there’s less risk of getting it wrong.
If you ask too directly, it can be hard to make it a surprise, so another recommended approach is to subtly find out during conversation and then give the gift—so you can get an even bigger reaction.
What made you happy?
There are people who love surprises, regardless of gender.
If it’s a woman, it might be a surprise lunchbox or homemade sweets; if it’s a man, maybe a surprise drive or a bouquet of flowers, and so on.
All of these make for happy memories, of course, but small, subtle gestures can be just as delightful: a man walking on the outside of the sidewalk, offering the seat of honor to a woman at a restaurant, having the room already cleaned, or ironing a shirt.
Big joys and little joys—let’s take this opportunity to talk about them all!
Which is more important in a partner: looks or personality?
When trying to find a partner, some people prioritize appearance while others focus on personality; it really depends on each person’s way of thinking.
Those who value appearance often pay attention to hairstyle, clothing, and the first impression when they meet.
On the other hand, those who prioritize personality tend to look at values, hobbies, emotional stability, and a sense of fun.
I believe both appearance and inner qualities are important, but we should honor each person’s values and choose a partner we won’t regret by respecting each other.
Do you want to be doted on, or do you want to dote on someone?
Compared to the past, has the distinction between men and women faded in the Reiwa era? I hear that many schools have dropped the rule that ‘girls’ uniforms must be skirts.’ It also feels like the Showa-era pattern of ‘women relying on men and men accepting it’ is no longer taken for granted.
What do you think? Of course, there are plenty of men who want to be the ones to lean on, and women with strong maternal instincts who’d say, ‘I’m totally fine with you leaning on me!’ Topics like these about dependency can really get couples talking, too!
What is a surprising side of me that you discovered after we started dating?
There are those sides of someone you only discover after you start dating—like a burly guy who’s actually a total softie around his mom, or a quiet woman who turns out to have nerves of steel and doesn’t flinch at cockroaches.
It’s also part of the charm when the less flattering sides come into view, like being surprisingly sloppy or surprisingly indifferent about food.
It could be fun to share these unexpected facets with each other.
If you broaden “unexpected sides” to include “things you just haven’t mentioned yet,” the topics are endless.
Maybe a curveball surprise will pop up—like how you took violin lessons as a kid, or lived in Brazil during middle school!
What similarities do the two of them have?
These are questions for talking about and sharing the parts where you felt you were similar as you spent time together.
There may be situations where your relationship deepened because you had similarities, and there may also be aspects where you became more alike over time.
By getting to know the ways the two of you are similar, you can also get a sense of how close your values are.
If you take time to reflect not only on your similarities but also on your differences, it could lead to the theme of identifying improvements for spending your time together more comfortably.
Questions to deepen the relationship between two people (21–30)
Which do you prefer: to love or to be loved?
KinKi Kids’ smash hit “Rather Than Be Loved, I Want to Love”—I’m sure you all know it—but how much do you relate to its lyrics? There’s even that occasional theory that in pet talk, “dog people want to be loved, cat people want to love,” though personally I think it’s case by case.
Whether you want to be fulfilled or to fulfill someone—taken to the extreme, it even turns into a wild S-or-M kind of topic—but it’s nice to have such lighthearted conversations with your partner.
Of course, while listening to KinKi Kids!