[Ultimate Either-Or] A great conversation starter and a chance to get to know each other!
Have you heard of the ultimate either-or questions? They’re two-choice questions where it’s hard to pick one, but you have to choose, and they can reveal a person’s values and spark conversation.
They’re perfect as conversation starters with friends or partners and for getting to know each other.
In this article, I’ll introduce a collection of ultimate either-or questions related to life and personal values.
There are plenty of prompts that will make you agonize over which to choose, so have fun giving them a try!
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Ultimate life and values choices (1–10)
Which do you prioritize: sleep or appetite?
Sleep and appetite, both counted among the three fundamental human desires.
Choosing between them can seem difficult, right? In fact, the two are closely connected: when your sleep time gets shorter, your body tends to stay in a constantly hungry state.
By the way, data shows that people who sleep less than five hours are nearly 1.5 times more likely to become obese than those who sleep five hours or more.
With that in mind, it might seem better to prioritize sleep.
That said, the choice between sleep and appetite is ultimately up to you.
Which would you choose if you could gain a special ability? The power to read future events or the power to read people’s minds?
The ability to read future events is appealing for the peace of mind that comes from knowing what will happen in advance.
It might help you avoid failure and seize opportunities more easily, but there’s also the fear of knowing too much.
The ability to read people’s minds could reduce misunderstandings in relationships by revealing what others truly think.
However, you might also learn things you’d rather not hear.
Do you choose peace of mind, or deeper connection? Which would you pick? It’s a short but engaging either-or question that clearly divides values.
Which would you rather have: 10,000 yen or 100 lottery tickets?
This question asks whether you would choose a guaranteed 10,000 yen or aim for a larger amount that’s uncertain.
It also seems likely to reveal differences in how much expectation people place on lotteries.
Beyond the goal of a dramatic, one-shot comeback, it might be interesting to focus on whether it’s actually a good deal if you think of using that 10,000 yen to buy 100 lottery tickets.
Because the amounts are concrete, it could be even more engaging to include calculation in the decision-making, not just expectations.
Ultimate Choices in Life and Values (11–20)
Wear the same clothes for the rest of your life or eat the same meal for the rest of your life
No matter how much you love a particular outfit, it’s hard to imagine wearing the same clothes for your entire life.
On the other hand, eating the same thing forever would normally be a no, too—there are concerns about unbalanced nutrition and such.
But if you had to choose one or the other, what would you do? For clothes, whether you can at least wash them might be the key point.
If you pick food instead, you’d have to seriously decide what your lifelong companion will be.
Choosing something junky, like fried foods, could make aging tough.
It’s a pretty extreme question—try sharing it with the people around you and see what they think!
If you had to date someone who’s careless with either money or time, which would you choose?
This is a question that makes you think about which kinds of major flaws in a partner you could tolerate.
Because being careless with money or time are flaws that directly affect daily life, you can also sense what each person values in their day-to-day living.
Try to vividly imagine life with someone who’s lax in each of these ways, and consider how you’d feel and how it would impact your life.
Some may say that “lax” depends on the degree, so it could be fun to discuss the differences in what level you’d be willing to accept.
If your body could only touch either dogs or cats, which would you choose?
A classic theme for provoking opposing opinions is asking people to choose between being a “dog person” or a “cat person.” Let’s take that theme a step further and ask: if you could only touch one of them, which would you choose? Some might pick the one they’ve never touched before due to allergies, while others might say they’re satisfied just watching and don’t need to touch either—so not everyone will simply choose the animal they like more.
By using the word “touch,” this question doesn’t just ask about favorite animals; it also reveals how people relate to each animal.
If you could go to either the future or the past, which would you choose?
Time machines, time loops, and other time-related concepts are classic themes in science fiction and beyond.
This question asks: if you could jump through time, would you go to the past or the future? It may reveal whether you’re more interested in the history the world has walked or the future it’s heading toward.
Some people might want to see the distant past or future where they themselves don’t exist, while others might be curious about their own past or what their future self will be like.