[Ultimate Either-Or] A great conversation starter and a chance to get to know each other!
Have you heard of the ultimate either-or questions? They’re two-choice questions where it’s hard to pick one, but you have to choose, and they can reveal a person’s values and spark conversation.
They’re perfect as conversation starters with friends or partners and for getting to know each other.
In this article, I’ll introduce a collection of ultimate either-or questions related to life and personal values.
There are plenty of prompts that will make you agonize over which to choose, so have fun giving them a try!
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Two-choice questions on food, entertainment, and hobbies (11–20)
If you could only eat one for the rest of your life, which would you choose: natto rice or tamago kake gohan (raw egg over rice)?
Let’s have them think about which they would choose if they could only eat either natto rice or tamago kake gohan (rice with raw egg).
Focus on the “for life” aspect as well: beyond preference and taste, nutrition is important for living a healthy life.
If we assume not only that one option would be off-limits but also that other dishes wouldn’t be available, the choice becomes more serious and helps expand their imagination.
How many variation recipes they know could influence the range of textures, flavors, and nutritional balance, and likely become key points in their decision.
Everything you eat for the rest of your life becomes either spicy or sweet.
The ultimate either-or choice of “everything you eat for the rest of your life tastes spicy or sweet” is something that makes you think, even if you have a preference.
Please consider it purely as a matter of perceived taste—not about your stomach getting irritated from constantly eating spicy foods or your diabetes risk increasing from always eating sweet foods.
By the way, spiciness isn’t taste but pain, yet that doesn’t necessarily mean having a constantly sweet mouth would be better, either—so it’s a tough call.
The fact that it’s hard to answer quickly from every angle might be exactly what makes it a fun ultimate dilemma.
Which convenience store would you go to: the one that’s a 1-minute walk from home, or the one that’s a 10-minute walk?
When a facility is close to home, it feels more convenient because you don’t spend much time traveling.
Let’s picture a situation where there’s a convenience store near your house and think in detail about what the ideal distance would be.
The closer it is, the more convenient it seems, but if it’s just a one-minute walk, you might still be able to see your home, so it may not feel like you actually went out.
If you want at least a bit of that “going out” feeling, or prefer a distance where you don’t have to worry about running into people you know, then having it a little farther away might actually be ideal.
Which would you choose to be free for life: the arcade or the movie theater?
The ultimate either-or question, “If you could make either the arcade or the movie theater free for life, which would you choose?”, depends heavily on personal tastes—so please consider it under the assumption that you like both equally.
By the way, since movie ticket prices are generally stable while spending at arcades can vary a lot from visit to visit, going with the same frequency could result in a big difference in costs.
That’s why your usual way of thinking may strongly influence your choice.
It’s an ultimate either-or that might even work as a personality test, depending on which one you pick.
10,000 yen or your own hand—which would you use to wipe if there were no toilet paper?
A crisis situation where, after rushing into the restroom and finishing your business, you realize there’s no toilet paper.
Let’s have people imagine how they would decide what to do when their only options are a 10,000-yen bill or their own hand.
The key point is the 10,000-yen bill: it reveals each person’s values about whether that amount of money is expendable to overcome a crisis.
It could also be interesting to vary the assumed amount or the tools on hand and ask which ones they would use as a substitute for paper, observing how their behavior changes.
Which would you choose: being able to listen to only one song for your entire life, or having to listen on random with no ability to skip?
The ultimate either-or question, “Would you rather be able to listen to only one song for the rest of your life, or listen on random with no ability to skip?” can be especially agonizing if you have music you really love.
Even if you have a favorite song now, it’s hard to believe you could keep the same level of passion if that were the only thing you listened to forever.
On the other hand, being stuck with random and no skipping means you can’t replay songs you like and you’re forced to sit through tracks you don’t—stressful in its own way.
If you’re not into music, you could just choose to listen to nothing at all, but for music lovers, it’s a true dilemma.
Which is more important for meals: quantity or quality?
This is a question asking people to think about whether they prioritize quantity or quality when it comes to daily meals—an essential part of life.
Basically, it asks which one they value more, but it can also be interesting to pose it as an ultimate either-or choice.
You can get a sense of someone’s approach to eating from factors like how much food it takes for them to feel satisfied or how their intake changes with age.
It could also be engaging to explore cases where the priority between quantity and quality shifts depending on the type of food, and to broaden the conversation by discussing which foods that person tends to prioritize.
A gourmet restaurant dish or your usual home-cooked meal—which would you want as your last meal in life?
The question of what you’d want to eat at the end of your life is a classic conversation topic.
Let’s have people think about whether, for that final meal, they’d prefer a course at a fancy restaurant or the usual home-cooked fare.
Instead of focusing on specific dishes, emphasize the situation: would you want to end on a special, elevated note, or precisely because it’s the last time, would you rather enjoy the same relaxed meal you’re used to? The answer may differ depending on what someone seeks in a meal.
To help people picture it more clearly, you can also recommend a variation where they consider specific dishes.
Which would you rather experience: the world of Harry Potter or the world of Spirited Away?
This is a question about which work you would choose if you could step into and experience the world of a hugely popular fantasy story.
The choices are Harry Potter and Spirited Away, and opinions may differ along the lines of Western or Japanese styles.
Let’s thoroughly imagine entering each world, expanding our thoughts not only on the appealing aspects but also on the negative sides.
It could also be interesting to use this as an opportunity to talk about what role you’d like to have within the story and which parts of the work you like.
A life where you can only eat breakfast or a life where you can only eat dinner—if you had to choose, which would it be?
The ultimate choice of “a life where you can only eat breakfast” or “a life where you can only eat dinner” is a tough one, and it can depend on your current daily rhythm and work.
Breakfast can fuel you for the day, and some say skipping dinner makes it harder to gain weight.
On the other hand, some people don’t need to eat in the morning and can’t fall asleep if they’re hungry at the end of the day.
It’s a decision that could divide opinions depending on how you think about it, but try to keep the idea of “for life” in mind as you consider it.